4. Fear of judgement
For years, I’d have conversations with family friends and distant relatives about the work that I was doing. I felt embarrassed by the fact that I was still living at home and not making much money.
Every time I talked to one of them they would say “so, still blogging?” Trying to explain that there was far more to what I was doing felt like a lost cause. It reminded me of this conversation that Dani Shapiro referenced in her book 'Still Writing':
I’ve thought of all the times that I’ve been asked if I’m still writing. I’ve been asked this by acquaintances and strangers, even by fans, readers of mine….. I’ve asked around and discovered that every artist and writer I know contends with a version of this question. It’s asked of writers who are household names. It’s asked of photographers whose work hangs in the Museum of Modern Art. It’s asked of stage actors who have won Tonys. Of poets whose work is regularly published in the finest journals. No one who spends her life creating things seems exempt from it.
The fear of being judged keeps so many of us from taking a shot at our most ambitious dreams.
At a certain point, I realized it wasn’t my job to convince the people I felt judged by that what I was doing was important, meaningful and valuable. I had to give up my fear of being judged and the need to be validated by certain people.
After all, they weren’t going to be listening to the Unmistakable Creative podcast or reading my books. So in the grand scheme of things their judgment or approval was essentially meaningless.
The people whose opinions I did truly value, my business partners and really close friends didn’t judge me at all. They supported me and could see a light at the end of the tunnel even in the moments that I couldn’t.
Once you give up your fear of judgment, your ability to work changes quite drastically. You become more present, productive, and start to gather creative momentum. You focus on the process, not the prize, and you start to see progress towards the life you want to live.
